


a language that you can't read just yet

by nightswatch



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: First Kiss, Fluff, Getting Together, M/M, Sleepy Cuddles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-26
Updated: 2016-09-26
Packaged: 2018-08-17 11:21:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8141927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nightswatch/pseuds/nightswatch
Summary: Nursey would be grateful if Dex could just stop falling asleep in his general vicinity. It's starting to turn into a bit of an issue.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lellabeth](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lellabeth/gifts).



> Alternatively: Nursey slowly but surely loses his chill. 
> 
> For Lella. It's your fault that this happened.

The first time it happens, Nursey doesn’t think too much about it.

They’re on the bus, on their way back to Samwell. He’s sitting with Dex, because he always does; it’s their thing. They may not always see eye to eye, they might have lived wildly different lives before they came to Samwell, but they’re teammates. They look out for each other on the ice. Sometimes – oftentimes – they also look out for each other _off_ the ice. It’s what they do.

It’s quiet on the bus. They lost and nobody really feels like talking. Bitty is asleep in the seat in front of them, legs drawn up, phone cradled against his chest. Chowder is staring out the window with the most mournful expression and Nursey sort of wants to give him a hug, but Ransom beats him to it and slides into the empty seat next to Chowder, muttering to him and giving his shoulder a squeeze. Chowder is still staring out the window after Ransom has returned to Holster, but he doesn’t look quite as mournful as before.

Dex isn’t taking it well either. Not that it was his fault. Or _their_ fault. It was nobody’s fault. They did their best and they came awfully close to winning, but they didn’t and that’s just what happens. Nursey doesn’t tell Dex that, though. Because the tips of Dex’s ears are pink and there’s this little crease between his eyebrows and his jaw is set and he looks like he’s about to implode with how pissed off he is. And Nursey is pretty sure that he’s gonna set him off if he even so much as breathes a single word in his direction.

And he doesn’t really want to do that to anyone right now.

Anyway, he’s tired and he has to do some reading for class and Dex has just untangled his headphones and obviously doesn’t want to talk. So Nursey grabs his book and starts to read.

He sneaks a glance at Dex after a couple of paragraphs. He’s fast asleep, his head tilted back, his mouth hanging open a little. Nursey snaps a picture with a grin. When he’s pocketed his phone, he notices that the crease between Dex’s eyebrows is gone and he looks… vulnerable, in a way. He’s seen Dex asleep before, not just on the bus, but in Chowder’s room, and on the couch and on the kitchen table at the Haus, but he never really noticed before today that Dex actually has the capacity to look this peaceful.

Nursey just blinks at Dex for a moment and then turns back to his reading.

He’s made it through about half of it when something hits his shoulder. He startles, looks up and finds that it’s Dex’s head, now resting against him. Dex wouldn’t stand for this if he was awake, really, he’d hate this so much, which is the main reason why Nursey doesn’t shove him away.

Anyway, it’s obvious that Dex is fucking exhausted and he remembers Dex telling Chowder he wasn’t feeling that great last week, so Nursey leaves him be. He can still read, it’s not like Dex is in the way of that.

It’s cool.

Actually, Dex is pretty warm. And he’s sort of slumped against Nursey, but that’s fine. He can’t really focus on his reading anymore and his eyes are starting to get itchy, so he closes them, but he doesn’t sleep, because that would be kinda weird.

Although.

Ransom and Holster fall asleep on each other all the time. They _cuddle_. No one ever comments on it; it’s what they do. People would probably feel uneasy if they didn’t cuddle. If Nursey cracks his eyes open and tilts his head a little bit, he can actually see that Holster has his arm slung around a sleepy Ransom.

It’s not a big deal.

Nursey still doesn’t sleep.

Okay, so maybe the first time it happens Nursey does think about it a little bit. But it’s whatevs. Really, it’s not like he minds.

When they get back to Samwell and everyone gets up and starts gathering their stuff, murmuring quietly, Dex still hasn’t woken up. Nursey gives his chin a flick and Dex jerks awake, batting at his hand.

“What the–”

“Wakey-wakey,” Nursey says. “Just so you know, I charge hourly for my services as a glorified pillow, so,” he checks an invisible watch, “you’ll find that you owe me–”

Dex punches him in the upper arm. “Fuck off.” He picks up his backpack and frowns at Nursey and there’s some confusion there and something else that Nursey can’t place for the life of him and then Dex says, “Sorry.”

That’s new. “What?”

“For falling asleep on you. Sorry ‘bout that.”

“Hey, it’s chill. Guess I was more comfortable than that window, huh?”

“It was an honest mistake,” Dex says and the crease between his eyebrows is back with a vengeance. Nursey doesn’t like it. He sort of wants to smooth it out.

Because Dex’s attitude is just– It wears on Nursey sometimes.

“Won’t happen again,” Dex says and squeezes past him to get off the bus.

*

It happens again.

Well. Dex doesn’t _literally_ fall asleep on him.

They’re at the library and Nursey is working on an essay. Chowder is drooling over Sharks merchandise – Nursey wasn’t aware that there’s anything left that he doesn’t own already – and Dex is pretending that he’s working on whatever homework he’s scribbling down. But he’s actually yawning more than he’s scribbling.

“Dude,” Nursey says after the billionth yawn, “take a nap.”

“Do I look like I have time to take a nap?”

“I don’t know, but you definitely look like you need one.”

He’s not just saying it to piss Dex off; he _really_ looks like he needs a nap. A long one. There are dark circles under his eyes and where Nursey is usually distracted by how many freckles dot Dex’s cheeks and nose he finds it hard to ignore them today. Dex looks pale, paler than he normally is.

“Well, thanks for your concern,” Dex spits, “but I’m a bit short on time right now.”

And he’s irritable. Or, Nursey should say, more irritable than on any other given day. Chowder has stopped looking at jerseys in favor of looking at them, not worried, but definitely on high alert.

“Suit yourself,” Nursey mutters and goes back to his essay.

When he gets up to find himself a few more books to look through, Dex shoots him a look that’s designed to kill. Nursey ignores him and only very nearly trips over his own chair as he wanders off.

Sometimes he just wants to give Dex a shove and say something like, _Why do you have to be like that all the time?_ Dex has probably never been relaxed, not even for a second, not in his entire life, and Nursey just doesn’t get it. It’s not like he’s never upset, but he’s learned to work around it – _ignore_ it – and it’s fine. He’s fine. Really.

He returns to Chowder and Dex with a stack of books. Chowder is reading some news article about the Falconers. If that article mentions Jack with one word, someone is going to have to drag Chowder away from his laptop so he’ll stop starting fights with people in the comments section. And Dex… Dex is asleep. On his textbook. Chowder smirks at Nursey when he stares.

Because Dex looks so different when he’s asleep. Nursey can’t even put his finger on it. He stares for a few more seconds. Then he dumps his books on the table and Dex shoots upright, blinking rapidly, his eyes settling on Nursey’s books, his look accusing. 

A guy a few tables over glares at Nursey.

Nursey only shrugs and sits back down and keeps working. He really wants to finish this today and he thinks he actually stands a chance.

Or he would stand a chance if Dex stopped yawning and rubbing his eyes and sighing for one damn second. It’s distracting. Nursey isn’t even sure why it’s so distracting, because usually he isn’t this bad on focusing on something just because someone _moves_ next to him.

Eventually, he gives up, flips his laptop shut and stretches. “Whatever. I’m done for today.” He gives Dex a nudge. “Come on, I’m getting you a coffee.” The words are out of him before he’s properly thought about them. But Dex looks like he needs a coffee. Nursey could seriously use one as well, he still has a considerable pile of homework waiting for him back at his dorm room.

Dex frowns at him. There’s that crease between his eyebrows again, but it’s only barely there. “Coffee?”

“So you don’t fall asleep on your homework again?” Nursey gathers up his things and nods at Chowder. “Are you coming?”

Chowder looks at Nursey, then at Dex, then back at Nursey. “Uh, I’m not done yet… But you guys go, I’ll see you at dinner, yeah?”

“Sure,” Nursey says and raises his eyebrows at Dex, who still hasn’t moved. “So?”

Dex, after staring at Nursey like he’s grown a second head for what feels like forever, finally gets up and picks up all of his crap. Not that he got much done with all that yawning.

They leave the library in silence and it’s just on the verge of being tense. They’re halfway to Annie’s when Nursey decides that he’s had it with Dex. He pulls at the sleeve of his jacket. “Hey, Dex…”

“What?” Dex asks and now he just sounds like he’s looking for a fight.

And maybe on another day Nursey would be right there with him. But not today. “Is everything okay?” he asks.

Dex is clearly taken aback, his eyes wide – his eyes are a wicked color, but that’s beside the point – and he doesn’t reply right away. “I… yeah. Sure.”

“Because if, you know, if there’s something wrong, there’s people you can talk to.” Nursey isn’t sure why he’s saying that, because, sure, they have each other’s back, they’re friends, kind of, they talk a lot, but the things they talk about aren’t exactly personal. So Nursey adds, “Not me, necessarily… But, like, Bitty.”

“Yeah,” Dex says, and maybe it’s meant to sound like a dismissal, but it doesn’t.

Nursey is hella confused about this conversation even though he’s the one who started it. He shrugs, says, “I’m just saying…” and heads for Annie’s. Sometimes it feels like he and Dex speak completely different languages.

They walk on in silence.

Nursey isn’t sure whether or not he’s glad that he said something.

*

Nursey has somehow ended up at the Haus watching _Legally Blonde_ , squeezed onto the couch with four other people. He came around looking for Dex and found him at the Haus and Bitty ushered both of them into the kitchen and told them to stay for dinner because there was more than enough for everyone. And nobody says no to Bitty’s food.

And then they sort of stuck around for movie night. What Nursey has learned so far is that the couch was definitely not made for five people, even when one of those five people is their tiny team manager. Nursey is lucky that he’s on the far left and not squeezed between Dex and Holster like Chowder. Dex, next to him, has secured the popcorn bowl and Ransom handed Nursey a beer before they started the movie. So it’s all cool.

Next to Holster, on the other end of the couch, Lardo groans in exasperation when Holster wiggles a bit.

“You already have more than enough room, stop it.”

Ransom, who’s sitting on the floor between Holster’s legs, chortles. “Holtzy is a big guy, give the boy some space.”

“There are five people on this couch, there is no space to speak of,” Lardo says and flicks a piece of popcorn at Ransom’s head.

Bitty, perched next to the couch because he’s not touching that monstrosity with even just his pinky finger, snorts, eyes still on his phone. He’s been texting someone all evening; not that it’s any of Nursey’s business.

Next to him, Dex sinks a little further into the couch with every minute that passes and Nursey isn’t really sure where to put his arm anymore, because it’s pressed against Dex’s and it’s stopped being comfortable a while ago. When Dex leans forward to hand the popcorn to Ransom, Nursey takes the chance to drape his arm over the back of the couch.

Dex glances at Nursey’s arm before he leans back again, then at Nursey who’s staring back at him, daring him to say something. Because Nursey can put his arm wherever the fuck he wants and if Dex has a problem with that he can go sit somewhere else.

In the end, Dex simply leans back with a huff.

Anyway, Nursey’s arm isn’t even touching Dex. They sit like this all the time. Maybe not the two of them, but… other people. Who are friends. It’s cool.

Halfway into the movie, Dex nods off. Nursey notices because Dex’s head tips back, his hair brushing against Nursey’s arm. At least he’s getting some sleep. He hasn’t been yawning as much during the last few weeks, didn’t look so sleep-deprived, but Nursey isn’t so sure if he actually got over it, whatever the hell _it_ is that keeps him up at night.

It’s in Nursey’s best interest that Dex isn’t dead on his feet, skates, whatever.

The problem is, now that Nursey’s arm is out of the way there’s nothing there that’s keeping Dex from slumping against him. No, it’s not a _problem_. Because Nursey doesn’t have any objections to being used as a pillow, not really.

He thinks of Dex saying it _won’t happen again_ and smirks because Dex would hate this so much, seriously, he’d throw a fit. And it’s not so bad. Nursey sort of likes it. Wait. He doesn’t _like_ it. Not like that. He likes that Dex isn’t trying to start a fight for once. He likes that the crease between his eyebrows is gone. That Dex is relaxed. Because if there’s one person on this planet who really needs to chill, it’s William Poindexter.

This is fine. It’s still fine when Dex sighs and slumps against Nursey a little more. Like, he’s literally curled against Nursey, with his head on Nursey’s shoulder and his fingers curled against Nursey’s side. It feels like they’re about to burn a hole through Nursey’s shirt. Dex is like a fucking furnace.

Somewhere at the very back of his mind Nursey registers that they’ve never actually been this close. That this is different. Out of the ordinary. But Dex is asleep, so it’s not like he’s doing it on purpose. And they’re still miles away from cuddling or some shit like that. And even if they were cuddling, what’s the big deal, right?

Dex’s short hair tickles his chin, but it’s kind of soft, too. It looks soft. Not that Nursey’s ever actively thought about it; he’s always just accepted it as a fact.

He’s kind of curious, though.

And then he sort of… has an aneurism? Or something? He can’t really describe it, but somehow his thought process derails and he loses control over what his hand is doing and he brushes his fingers through Dex’s hair. And it is soft. But. He just did that. He did that and it’s not like anybody noticed, but he doesn’t see himself forgetting about it anytime soon.

Nursey drops his arm on the back of the couch, his fingers far, far away from Dex’s hair and his _everything_ , basically.

Part of him wants to shove Dex off of him and run away as fast as possible and hide in his dorm room for the foreseeable future. The other part is the one that likes how Dex is curled against him.

He _likes_ it. Yes, like _that_. He likes how soft Dex looks in the low light, and he likes how warm he is against him, and he likes that Dex’s face is practically tucked into the crook of his neck.

Five minutes later someone – Nursey can’t say that he’s been paying attention to anything other than Dex – tips over a beer can that’s not empty yet and Bitty and Ransom both jump out of the way and there’s a lot of yelling and laughing and Dex jumps and looks around, sleepy-eyed, and settles back against the couch.

He doesn’t even look at Nursey, just watches as Bitty quickly takes care of the mess on the floor.

And Nursey is definitely not disappointed or anything.

It’s cool. It’s fine. Everything’s perfectly fine.

*

Nothing is fine.

Nursey can barely even look at Dex. And he’s not sure if Dex has noticed, but if he hasn’t, it’s really just a matter of time.

It’s ridiculous.

During their next game, Nursey briefly contemplates murder when a guy from the other team barrels straight into Dex. Dex is fine, but it’s a matter of principle.

“What happened to _chill_?” Dex asks after the game.

“What happened to not getting yourself killed out on the ice?”

“It’s not like I asked that guy to have a go at me.”

“I bet you–”

Chowder clears his throat next to them, his eyebrows raised like he wants to say, _Really, guys, we just won a game, you need to stop. Now is not the time._

Nursey stalks off to shower up. He doesn’t look at Dex, sweaty and red-faced. With those eyes. And those freckles.

Nothing at all is fine.

Look. Nursey wasn’t entirely unaware that he occasionally has a thing for a guy. He once kissed one and thought something like, _Cool, I can work with that._ He’s never had an actual crush on a boy, though. He’s never even told anyone that he’s– Not straight. Does he really need a label for this? He likes all sorts of people. There. That’s good enough.

Anyway, he’s not even sure if this is a crush. He just simultaneously loves and hates looking at Dex. And he also has a thing for his hair. And maybe he once thought about kissing his freckles. Like, every single one.

Dex sits next to him on the bus. He falls asleep twenty minutes into the drive back to Samwell. Today Dex leans against the window. Nursey doesn’t care.

But he kinda does.

He reaches a new level of despair the next day when he goes to the Haus to study – and to see if there’s some leftover pie because Bitty mentioned it in the group chat earlier – and finds Dex sleeping on the couch. Nursey doesn’t understand any of this, doesn’t understand that feeling in the pit of his stomach. It’s like he’s fallen off a really tall building and the ground just won’t come.

It’s cool. He can deal with this. It’ll go away if he ignores it for long enough. It’s how he deals with a lot of things and it works for him most of the time.

*

Nursey runs into Dex at the bottom of the stairs.

Of course he does.

Nursey has been trying to avoid him, because he’s slightly buzzed and Dex is fucking wasted and it’s just not a great combination. When Nursey ducked out of Dex’s line of sight ten minutes ago he walked straight into Bitty and ended up spilling his own beer all over himself.

And thank fuck it was Bitty, because he only smiled and told Nursey to go clean himself up. Which is why he was upstairs. He should have just stayed in the bathroom.

“Nursey,” Dex says, and it sounds like _Nurseeeeey_ , like he’s actually happy to see him.

Dex snatches Nursey’s snapback off his head and puts it on and Nursey can’t deal with this. _What happened to_ chill _?_ He’s not sure, but _chill_ has definitely left the building and is on plane to, like, Australia or something.

“What happened to you?” Dex asks and tugs at Nursey’s shirt, covered in dark wet splotches.

“Beer,” Nursey only says, because he seriously can’t deal with this.

He also can’t deal with Dex grinning at him and asking, “How do I look?”

Nursey pulls the cap over Dex’s face and says, “That’s better.”

He sort of forgot that Dex is about one sip of anything away from passing out and nearly yelps when Dex sways against him, his arm around Nursey a second later to steady himself, pushing Nursey against the banister because he catches him off-guard. And Nursey really isn’t sober either.

Somehow, he manages to maneuver Dex into the kitchen without any major accidents. It’s late and people have started to leave a while ago, so they find it empty. The lights are off. Nursey has a feeling that Bitty might have turned them off to very subtly tell people to stay out of his kitchen. Because, honestly, it is Bitty’s kitchen. Nursey doesn’t turn them on as he shoves Dex inside; the light from outside the kitchen door is more than enough.

He gets Dex a glass of water that he accepts without an attempt to fight him about it and Nursey leans against the counter with a sigh. He has a headache. And Dex is still wearing his snapback and it’s lopsided, and that just makes it worse.

Speaking of making it worse, when Dex has gulped down his water he shuffles closer to Nursey and leans back against him because he’s obviously too drunk to even stand up straight. Dex just slouches against him like it’s no big deal, and maybe it isn’t. Maybe this is just what friends do, because they _are_ friends, and maybe there’s nothing weird about this. Maybe it’s not weird that Dex’s arms are loosely wrapped around his waist.

Nursey has no idea what to do with his hands. Because he can hardly put them on Dex. As much as he wants to. That would be so wrong. So they’re just awkwardly hanging at his sides. Maybe he can put his hand on Dex’s back, he’s done that before. No, maybe not.

He considers the possibility that Dex might fall asleep right here and now, slouching against him, with his face hidden against Nursey’s chest and the thought sets him on fire from head to toe.

Nursey is sure that Dex is too drunk to remember any of this tomorrow. He wonders if it’s too late for him to get that drunk as well so he doesn’t have to remember either.

He has no idea for how long they’ve been standing in the kitchen, but the Haus has gone quiet and he can hear someone trudging up the stairs.

“Okay,” Nursey says and nudges Dex, “let’s find a place to sleep, yeah?”

Dex only grumbles something, because that boy just can’t go through life without grumbling, but he lets Nursey shove him out of the kitchen. Thanks to some minor miracle, there’s no one on the couch. There’s someone behind the couch, but that’s not Nursey’s problem. _Dex_ is Nursey’s problem.

He’s only vaguely cooperative when Nursey tries to dump him on the couch. He puts Dex right in the middle and, well, Nursey guesses they can share. So he sits down as far away from the middle as he can and props his feet up on the coffee table. Dex can have the rest of the couch; he doesn’t care.

And then Dex, already half-asleep, curls up on his side and put his head on Nursey’s thigh.

This is fine.

*

Something that can’t decide whether it’s rain or snow is falling from the sky outside Nursey’s window. Has been all day. It’s nuts out there. He had cold pizza for dinner because there was no way he was going anywhere in this weather, not after he came back to his room cold and shivering after lunch.

The guys are meeting up for movie night at the Haus in a bit, but Nursey has taken on permanent residence on his bed. Since the rain, or snow, or whatever, doesn’t let up, the group chat comes alive with people saying they’re staying in.

Nursey stares at Dex’s _me too sorry guys_ for about five minutes. Which is… It does things to Nursey. He’s so far gone for this guy that it’s reaching a pretty embarrassing level and he wants it to stop.

Nothing’s ever going to come of this. Even if Dex wasn’t straight, and, okay, maybe he isn’t because this is Samwell, but even then he’d still hate Nursey’s guts at least, like, once a week.

Two days ago they started arguing about something Nursey can’t even remember over dinner and Nursey hated every second of it. There was a time when he might have found it hilarious to rile Dex up, because it’s just so easy to rile him but, but not anymore. Nursey just wants to have a regular conversation with that guy. He knows it’s possible. They’ve had a couple and they weren’t even bad ones.

He just doesn’t get why Dex is so pissed off all the time.

Well, that brings him back to the thing with the different languages. They just don’t understand each other. And there’s no _Dex - Normal People_ dictionary yet.

After they argued, Bitty shot Nursey, slightly deflated and not at all chill, a look that had Nursey thinking that he might know. About Nursey and his Dex issue. Except that he couldn’t know. How would he know? Things aren’t different between him and Dex. Okay, maybe they’re a little different. Maybe they don’t try to kill each other as often as they used to. Maybe Nursey smiles at Dex sometimes because he just can’t help himself. But that’s–

Nursey jumps when there’s a knock on his door. “Yeah?”

“It’s me.”

 _Dex_. What the fuck. It’s like the universe just doesn’t want to give him a break. But Dex lives upstairs so out of all the people Nursey knows at Samwell he’s probably the one who’s most likely to show up at his door.

“It’s open,” Nursey says.

Dex opens the door in slow motion, like he’s scared of actually setting foot in Nursey’s room. He pokes his head inside first, then a foot follows, then the rest of him, but he’s still lingering in the doorway. “Hey,” he says.

“Hey, what’s up?”

“Look,” Dex says, his eyebrows pinched. “I don’t know what the guy in the room next to mine is doing, but it’s really annoying. And I would go to the library, but…” Dex nods at the window.

It’s dark and you can’t see shit, but Nursey guesses the weather is still keeping everyone inside.

“Can I hang out here for a bit?” Dex holds up the notepad he’s carrying. “Just until I’m done with this?”

See, Nursey hasn’t really talked to Dex much ever since that Haus party. Dex’s head slid off his thigh sometime during the three hours of sleep they got that night and woke up with his head right next to Nursey, so it wasn’t as disastrous as it could have been, but Dex was pretty confused about why he was wearing Nursey’s snapback. Nursey wordlessly snatched it from him and they never mentioned it again afterwards.

Nursey made sure that there was no chance for it to be mentioned.

Still, ignoring the Dex issue really isn’t working out for him.

Whatever.

“Sure…” Nursey says and glances at his desk, overflowing with notes and books, and his chair, overflowing with clothes. He nods at the other end of his bed. “Um…”

“Thanks,” Dex says despite Nursey’s lack of eloquence and sits down on his bed, back against the wall, careful to keep some space between himself and Nursey’s feet.

Nursey picks up a book, pretending that he was reading all along and not staring at his ceiling thinking about Dex. He’s not really reading right now either. Because Dex is, like, _right there_ , brow furrowed, chewing on his pen. And he has freckles. And pretty fascinating eyelashes. Nursey forces himself to look away. Words. On the page. Reading. Yep.

This isn’t working.

He puts the book down and grabs his headphones and his laptop. Dex glances at him. With those ridiculous eyes. Then he looks back down at his notepad. Nursey looks at his laptop screen. He’s just gonna watch a bunch of NHL videos until Dex leaves. Whatever homework he’s doing will probably not take him all evening.

Dex does put down his notepad eventually and jerks his head at Nursey’s laptop. “What are you watching?”

“Just… stuff.” Nursey pulls out the headphones and scoots closer to Dex so he can see the screen.

And then they’re suddenly going from one video to the next, “This one,” and, “Yeah, and that one afterwards,” and it doesn’t look like Dex is going anywhere. Nursey doesn’t even want him to go anywhere. Their arms are touching. And Dex is so warm that Nursey just wants to lean into him and wrap his arms around him and– Whoa. Nope. Not happening.

He does ask Dex if he has anywhere to go, though. And when Dex says no, Nursey pulls up Netflix and lets Dex pick a movie. Halfway through they start talking. About Dex’s family, and then about New York, and Nursey says, “Maybe you can, y’know, come by sometime,” and Dex doesn’t give him shit about his family having a house in Manhattan, he just says, “Huh, yeah, maybe I will.”

Nursey doesn’t mention his own family. A couple of weeks ago his mom texted him something like, _How’s school?_ And Nursey said, _good_ , and that was it for their conversation. Dex has never met his parents. No one on the team has. They didn’t come up for Family Weekend or anything. They were busy. It’s cool. It’s not like he was actually expecting them to show up.

They finish the movie but neither of them pays attention to how it ends and Nursey’s laptop ends up on his dresser, but they keep talking and eventually Nursey leans back and Dex flops onto his stomach. He looks comfortable. At ease. There’s not even a hint of that little crease between his eyebrows.

Nursey closes his eyes as he’s talking and maybe that’s a mistake. Dex hums every now and then to indicate that he’s still listening, but when Nursey is done with his story, Dex doesn’t reply. And Nursey is tired as shit, he’s so sleepy, and it really doesn’t take much to just give in to it and let himself drift off.

When he wakes up again, the light over his bed is still on, and his first thought is, _Well, shit_. Because what he sees when he opens his eyes is Dex. Curled up in his bed, mere inches away from him. His face is _so_ close to Nursey’s. He can basically count the freckles. Nursey’s hand is one twitch away from touching Dex’s arm. He quickly pulls it away.

It’s 3:44 AM. He could wake up Dex and tell him to go back to his own room. But he’s not gonna do that because it’s four in the morning and Nursey is back in that wonderful place where he’s capable of not actually giving a shit.

So he turns off the light and lies back down. He’s in that precarious place between being awake and being asleep when he notices that Dex shifts closer. He notices that he’s suddenly a lot warmer. Nursey doesn’t shove him away. He pushes his nose into something soft. Then he goes back to sleep.

Nursey isn’t sure what wakes him up in the morning. It’s either the morning light or the people talking in the hallway or it’s Dex. Because Dex is still there. That wasn’t some kind of really weird dream.

Dex’s head is tucked under his chin and one of his hands is curled into Nursey’s shirt and Nursey has an arm wrapped around him. Their knees are touching. Nursey can’t even get away and pretend that this never happened, because Dex has a pretty good grip on his shirt. Whatever. They’re friends. They fell asleep in the same bed. This won’t make Dex suspect that Nursey has… an issue.

He’ll just wake Dex up and it’ll be fine.

“Dex,” Nursey says. He gives him a nudge, but he keeps it gentle. “Yo, Dex.”

Dex burrows closer at first when he starts to wake up, then he freezes. “What…” He sits up and scrambles over Nursey and off the bed so fast that Nursey can hardly keep track.

“Dude,” Nursey says. “It’s–”

“I’m leaving,” Dex says. He’s not even looking at Nursey as he bolts for the door.

“Dex, what– _Chill_.”

But Dex isn’t listening, he pulls the door open and then he’s gone, the door slamming back shut in his wake. And Nursey is left sitting on his bed wondering what the hell just happened. When Dex woke up next to him on the couch at the Haus, he didn’t throw a fit about it.

Maybe Nursey should have woken him up at four in the morning after all.

There’s a crease in Nursey’s shirt where Dex’s fingers were curled into the fabric. Nursey tries to smooth it out, but it won’t go away. He could go after Dex. Ask him what’s going on. He should probably give him a minute first, though. He knows Dex. Sometimes a minute to calm down will do it.

So Nursey goes and takes a shower and changes. When he gets back to his room, he finds Dex’s notepad lying next to his bed. He picks it up. Usually he’d go have breakfast with the team, but he still has about twenty minutes to kill, so he takes Dex’s notes and goes upstairs.

He knocks on Dex’s door. “Dex? Are you there?”

Dex doesn’t reply, but Nursey can hear some shuffling behind the door. So he’s definitely in there. 

He knocks again.

Whatever Nursey has done to deserve this, it must have been _bad_.

“Come on, Dex, what the hell?”

Nothing.

“I still have your homework and I’m gonna eat it.”

The door is yanked open and Dex is glaring at him like he’s trying to kill him with those eyes that Nursey sort of wants to look at for the rest of his life. Uh. Yeah.

“What is wrong with you?” Dex asks.

“What is wrong with _me_? What is wrong with _you_?”

Dex only stares at him and lets out a shuddering breath. He takes his notepad from Nursey and says, “Can you just go?”

“I… yeah.” Nursey doesn’t fight him on this. Because Dex looks a bit crumpled and just… sad. “Wait. No.” Because Dex looks sad and what kind of a friend would Nursey be if he just walked away? “Do you really want me to go?”

Dex doesn’t say yes. He doesn’t say no either. He says nothing at all.

Nursey doesn’t want to be condescending but he can see that Dex is freaking out a bit. And he can’t really connect the dots, he doesn’t know what happened, doesn’t get why Dex is blowing this way out of proportion. Or maybe it doesn’t even have anything to do with Nursey.

“Dex… Will…” Nursey kinda likes calling Dex _Will_. But he can deal with that some other time. He sidles into Dex’s room and closes the door. Dex doesn’t stop him. “Come on, use your words.”

Dex frowns at him and their eyes meet for the briefest of seconds before Dex looks away again. He pushes his hands in the pockets of his pants, shuffles his feet, then he folds his arms across his chest. Eventually he sighs.

Then he says, “I don’t know how to deal with this.”

“With what?”

He points at Nursey, then at himself. “This. _You_.”

So this is a _this_. It catches Nursey by surprise because he didn’t know that Dex sees it that way. He thought it was _his_ issue. A one-sided _this_. “Okay,” Nursey says. They can talk about this. “That’s fine. No pressure.”

“It’s not _fine_ ,” Dex shouts.

“Dex. Bro.”

“Stop.”

“What?”

“You’re… I can’t do this. I… My family… And now…”

“Hey,” Nursey says and he holds out his hand and it awkwardly hovers a few inches away from Dex’s arm.

Dex looks at his hand like it’s a bomb that’s about to go off.

Nursey drops it. Maybe this is a one-sided _this_ after all and Dex simply noticed that Nursey has a thing for him. Different languages and all that. “Look, I get it if it makes you uncomfortable that I like you and, believe me, I’ve been trying to turn that off, but–”

“No,” Dex says and he’s so frustrated that his face has gone all blotchy and Nursey wants to kiss him more than ever before. “You’re not the problem,” Dex adds, his voice low, like he can barely say it out loud. “It’s me… I…” He clenches his fist, unclenches it again. “I don’t know how to like a boy.”

 _Oh_. Nursey doesn’t really know what to say. Dex is probably gonna punch him if he says _it’s fine_ one more time. Although it is fine. There are several people in Dex’s life who will be fine with him liking guys. But it might not be the people who matter to him the most, it might not be his family, and there’s nothing Nursey can do about that. Still, that doesn’t change that Dex basically just admitted that he likes him.

“Dex,” Nursey says and takes a step closer, “it’s okay. I mean it. It’s gonna be okay. We’ve got your back, remember? The whole team. All of us.”

Dex doesn’t reply, he just hugs him. It’s not one of those _yeah, good game_ hugs, it’s a real one, with Dex’s arms wrapped tightly around Nursey's waist and with his chin hooked over Nursey’s shoulder. It reminds Nursey of that time Dex was drunk and slumped against him, except this time Nursey knows where to put his hands. One on Dex’s back, the other one in his hair. He trails his fingers up and down Dex’s spine and he loses track of how long they’re standing in the middle of Dex’s room, holding on to each other, and Nursey doesn’t want to let go anyway, so he’s almost disappointed when Dex moves away.

He just takes half a step back, though, his eyes fixed on Nursey’s, his hands still on his sides. Dex licks his lips.

Nursey is gonna flip his shit. He wants to kiss Dex so much, it’s gonna kill him.

 _What happened to_ chill _?_ He honestly couldn’t give less of a shit.

Dex’s hand moves up Nursey’s chest and then curls around the back of his neck. He leans closer until their foreheads touch and Nursey closes his eyes. Neither of them moves. Nursey drags his thumb into the hair at the nape of Dex’s neck and Dex lets out a small puff of breath.

“Yeah?” Nursey asks.

It takes Dex a moment to reply. It hits Nursey like a ton of bricks that Dex has never kissed a guy before. “Yeah,” Dex finally whispers.

The first kiss that Nursey gives Dex is just a peck on the lips; the second one takes his breath away. By the third one, Dex’s fingers are clenched in Nursey’s shirt again and Nursey isn’t sure how he’s ever supposed to stop kissing Dex.

They nearly miss breakfast.

But it’s cool.

**Author's Note:**

> Title is taken from a Death Cab song.
> 
> I'm @zimmermaenner on tumblr if you wanna say hi.
> 
> Kudos and comments are very much appreciated :)


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